Once Upon a Toilet – Part Deuce

*WARNING* As the title suggests, this post is entirely inappropriate and contains way too much information.

It's a brutal and only slightly cencored view of life on the road.

  It starts with a grumble deep in the pit of your abdomen, sweat breaks out on your brow and BAM!!, out of the blue your life will change for days or possibly weeks, or in the case of India- months!  You have Montezuma's revenge or what we have experienced first hand more than once, the infamous "Delhi Belly".  When you’ve got it, it is like nothing you have experienced back home and hopefully you will only have the pleasure of enduring once.  On our trip we have had our fair share of incidences and in my case, I think it was my only saving grace because in hindsight I believe it was Delhi Belly and Delhi Belly alone that prevented me from gaining 15 pounds while travelling through India.
Imagine this… you’re on a bus that takes 20 hours and your expecting only one or two rest stops on the journey.  Is there anything more scary than the possibility of you- a grown person, shitting your pants… then sitting in it for hours?  Is there? Because if there is, I want to hear it.  It isn’t the most glamorous thing, having to squat on the side of a busy freeway, in the pitch black of night in some random bush or at a local squat toilet that lacks the luxury of electricity, but if you have - in Dan’s words - “explosive diarrhoea” it makes the task all that more interesting.  Ha Ha
The two of us have gotten quite skilled at anticipating western or squat toilets and avoiding the latter for weeks if we are feeling under the weather.  This is a difficult skill to master.  One might think that the Western eatery that sells pizza and pasta has a Western toilet but this isn’t always the case.  Life is bizarre when you enter an establishment or tourist sight and the first thing you do is map out the location of the toilets, the route you need the take and the estimated time it would take to travel from any surrounding location.  I am reminded about a specific instance, while Dan and I were in Bangkok and visiting the Forensic Medicine Museum.  When we entered the exhibit on parasites and amoebae, we both got the chills.  There I found myself trying to self diagnose our stomach ails, paying special attention to the deadly buggies, their cause and symptoms.  Scary.  If you have stomach problems, looking at extremely large models of amoebae or pictures of parasites crawling out of nether regions won’t help.  It will only make you think you are being eaten from the inside out.  Living with the runs and not letting them slow you down makes each day a bit tragic and almost primal.  If you can’t wrap your head around the idea- don’t travel.
Luckily, the one saving grace are the chemists and pharmacists on every corner.  They don’t have to speak English because I can guarantee they know the words diarrhoea and vomiting, or can recognize a sour look on your face while clutching your stomach- so no problems there.  Then, they will most likely dispense a lovely little drug concoction that is pre-packaged and deadly potent and to your surprise, will only cost you a dollar or two.  Miracles come cheap in this part of the world. Interestingly enough, while I was writing this post, Dan was reading a local magazine and came across a short article on how to cure the trots.  Since I am taking Malarial drugs that I swear are melting my insides, I try to avoid messing with additional medicinal cocktails, so this article was interesting indeed.  It suggested that my fool proof method of eating bland, starchy and salty food was bogus, instead they suggested this…..

Eat a whole Papaya then follow it by eating only fruit and yogurt.  Apparently you will be good to go in only one day.  I am sceptical but I will try it.  If the method fails while I am sitting on my scooter tomorrow, I’m not gonna be impressed.

A perfectly clean and spacious shared squat toilet at our guesthouse.

This is not always the case.  Some even have signs that ask you to take off your shoes when you enter- EWWW- seriously?

Dan's latest drug cocktail- one packet, three times a day- simple and effective.

Tomb Raiders

  So, Dan and I have successfully scratched off yet another world wonder from our list... It is not officially on the 'New 7 Wonders of the World' list, but it was a finalist, and dare I say, I can see why it didn't make the cut... I was a little disappointed with this one.  *GASP*- I said it, there is no going back- every Cambodian in history will surely hate me but I have to be honest.  Don't get me wrong, Angkor Wat was impressive and it made a slight impression on me but after spending two long days exploring temple after temple, after temple, in the end I much preferred some of the other temples surrounding it.  Here are a few pictures of some of the sights we saw over the past few days.

  I feel a little bad because I didn't take very many pictures of Angkor Wat.  We started our day at 5:00 am to catch the view of the sunrise behind the temple but because it was so cloudy, there was no sunrise.

This is the only shot I took of the temple from the outside.

A couple pictures of Dan and I at Angkor Wat

Like I said, we saw many temples over the two days, so many that I couldn't tell you what the name of this one was.

I do know it is where the King would stand to address his people... I think :)

Cambodia has some awesome trees and they are especially beautiful when their roots snake their way through temple walls.  Stunning!  Also, I think this is one of the temples that Tomb Raider was filmed at.

Um- I feel really bad that I have no idea what this temple is called or when it was built, who built is or what for.  It's pretty though.

Some of the intricate carvings that decorate some of the temple walls.

OH- these were my favourite temples.  They are so unique, quirky and a little bizarre.

It is rather creepy to walk around and have big huge faces staring down at you.
This was the Bayon temple.

Another cool tree. 

Ha Ha.  This is a picture of Dan- lending his head to one of the many statues that flanked the South Gate of Angkor Thom.

Maybe we should have bought one of the Temple History books that the hawker kids were selling at all the sights, then I could give you a little info.  All in hindsight.

Dancing Shiva- maybe

OK- these stairs were terrifying.  Apparently there had been a few tourist accidents- by accidents, I think they meant death.  Seriously, they were so steep, narrow and covered with a fine sand- I was actually nevous to climb them, then scared to climb back down.  Freaky!

Laos: Top 10

So it has been decided. Laos is my favourite country in South East Asia- so far. I loved it so much that I have compiled a list of the top 10 reasons why 'I heart Laos'.  It is in no particular order of importance as they all contributed to my love of Laos.  Here goes…

10. BeerLao

When you enter Laos, you are immediately bombarded by the over abundance of BeerLao t-shirts.  It seems that every other Farang (white person) is wearing one or in the process of buying one.  They rival the Full Moon Party t-shirts of Thailand and dare I say, maybe even the iconic 'I heart NY' Tee, and for good reason-  It is locally brewed and on the local beer market it takes the prize with a whopping 90% of the total beer sales.  It happily comes in both a dark and a light lager and at only $1 for a large bottle, Beer Laos became a staple of our diet while touring through Laos.  What is better than having an ice cold beer in a hammock, on a boat, at a restaurant, or while walking down the streets enjoying the sights?  Refreshing :)

Beer and ice cream?

9. Food

  Food, food, Oh the food!  In all honesty, nothing will beat the food from India but Laos is an easy second.  Not only was it easy to dine on the cheap local eats such as noodle soup (my favourite), Laap or various rice or noodle frys, there is also a huge abundance of International fare to satisfy your pallet.  Since Laos was formerly under French Rule, you can still see the influence in the French Cuisine.  Breakfasts are served with a baguette, you can order a fantastic cup of coffee and enjoy it along with a sinfully delicious French pastry or two…or maybe three :)  If that isn’t enough, you can also dine on Indian, Chinese, Mexican, Vietnamese, Thai, Malay or Western Food- just to name a few.  Now don’t be fooled, many other countries serve up ethnic cuisine but Laos has outdone them all with quality, value and taste.  Eat up and enjoy! :)







8. Accommodation

  This is important.  When you move from town to town and room to room it is nice to know that 4 out of 5 guesthouses in Laos are well priced, clean and comfortable.  This was not always the case in other countries we have visited.  To be honest, I was fearful at first to visit a country that is still one of the poorest in the world.  On top of that, they are just beginning to get flows of tourists and for that reason, Laos still remains off the beaten path.  So you can imagine my surprise when we arrived in Laos and checked into our first guesthouse and were taken aback by the beauty of the place.  Many guesthouses in Laos are brand new or heritage, they are clean and come with amenities that are often non existent in other more well-travelled countries.  For somewhere between $5 to $7, Dan and I could get a large clean room with attached bathroom, fan, sometimes TV, towels, soap, bottled water, toilet paper and sometimes even a toothbrush and toothpaste.  Brilliant.  Come stay in Laos and you will be pleasantly surprised to see just how far your money can go.



This was the best overnight bus we have taken to date.

7. History

  Dan and I spent many weeks in northern, eastern and central Laos, learning about the history of this beautiful country.  Yes, at times I was horrified, sad and depressed but being in the country, meeting some locals and feeling the vibe, I left uplifted and positive.  The Laos people have pulled together during hard times and supported one another, and throughout the struggle managed to stay united and strong.  Their history made me stop and realize just how important family is and through thick and thin, anything can be accomplished.  So, if you are a history buff or intrigued at all, with a little effort, you can learn some world history and in the process, possibly a little something about yourself.

The famed 'Plain of Jars' in Phonsavan



The caves at Viang Xai

6. Laos Time

  Is your life a little too hectic, or maybe you just need a little time out?  If that’s the case, come to Laos- where you are forced to slow down, take a breather and chill out!  It’s bizarre and I am still having a hard time wrapping my mind around it.  In a country mostly supported by agriculture, the daily life of the average Laos is back breaking.  Plant some rice fields, tend to the corn patches- all day- every day.  That’s hard work- so it still boggles my mind that it is such a chill place. Don’t expect to get the food you ordered in a timely fashion because the girl that took your order has stopped to chat or watch TV before she has even taken it to the kitchen.  That 5 hour bus trip has turned into 8 because every other passenger has a motorcycle, bags of rice or crates of eggs to load but no one cares, they will still wait on the side of the road for the bus to arrive. I think us westerners could learn a thing or two from the Laos people.  What's the rush? 

Chillin' on our hammocks at the 4000 islands

5. Countryside

  As I have mentioned in previous posts, Laos is beautiful :)  With its jagged limestone peaks, rolling hills and vast rice fields, Laos is sublime to the eye.  One of the highlights of our trip through Loas has been the time we have spend on Tuk Tuks, buses, scooters and bicycles as they have afforded us the oppourtunity to see one of the most beautiful places on earth.  So, if you have time- Laos time that is- spend some of it on transport through Laos.  Avoid the night buses because you will miss all the action.  Oh, except for the firefly spotting- that's fun too :)

A couple pics from our stop in Viang Xai



4. Animals

  The fauna in Laos ties in to create a countryside that is unrivaled- so far, but I have decided that the animals of Laos deserve their own category.  Unfortunatly, because of the secret war and the bombs that assaulted their country, much of the native wildlife had fled or parished, resulting in a rather quiet forest.  Don't fret if you are an animal lover as there are plenty of water buffalow, pigs, chicken, ducks, cats, dogs and cows to go around.  It never fails that Dan and I will attract a small following of pets while we eat at open-air restaurants, all of which we would love to adopt and bring home with us.  The abundance of farm animals running around never ceases to brighten my day and put a smile on my face.

Aww- so cute ;)

Some of our kitty friends at dinner.

3. Mekong River

  The Mekong is a vast river that snakes it's way through Loas, Thailand, Cambodia, China, Myanmar (Burma) and Vietnam.  It springs life on its banks and provides food and water to the countries that it flows through.  Without the Mekong, I don't know what SE Asia would have become; for that reason it is one of the top sights during our visit to Laos.  Whether you are on a slow boat making your way to Luang Prabang, or spotting some rare freshwater river dolphins, the Mekong has the power to calm you heart and slow you down to a crawl.  So, rent a bungalow, grab a hammock and enjoy the sunset over the River Mekong and don't forget your Beer Laos :)



The sunsets on the Mekong are stunning.

2. Architecure

  Oh my, the buildings in Laos are pretty to look at and offer some great photo opportunities if you enjoy old buildings.  There is something to be said about walking hand in hand, down cobblestone walkways, past French Colonial buildings with wood shutters, big balconies and twinkle lights.  Romantic.  So, if Europe is a little pricey for you, you could get your fill of colonial charm in Luang Prabang, Loas. And if Soviet era construction is your thing, you can find it too if you go far enough off the beaten path (not the most inspiring, but it adds to the diversity that is Laos.)



1. Vientiane

  Finally, Vientine- our favourite.  Dan and I have seen quite a few places now and none have captured our hearts like Vientiane.  It has a lovely island feel because of Laos Time, the colonial buildings of Luang Prabang and the night life of the 4000 islands.  It is happy medium between city and island life.  The water front walk is buzzing at dusk on, the street food is in plentiful supply and it offers all the comforts of home.

Take a week in Vientiane, absorb the culture, food and definately the water front.  Nice :)

Dan playing some hacky sack with a couple locals and a fellow traveller.

L'Arc de Triomphe or The Victory Gate.

Hee Hee- good times

Watch Where You Step!

Alright kiddies, we are going to do a fun little exercise using our imaginations- ready?
I want you all to close your eyes and clear your mind.  All clear?  Now I want you to picture your life over a 9 year period.  It can be from birth to age 9 or maybe 10 years old to 19 years old, I am sure you get the picture.  For ease of writing I am going to choose from my birth until my 9th birthday.  Can you remember your first teacher, or your best friend growing up?  Maybe you moved houses, maybe your parents split up or you had your first kiss.  Were you in scouts, did you go camping, or to Disneyland?  Oh, how about sleepovers- those where the best; remember going to a friends house and being able to eat junk food or watch the inappropriate movies your parents didn’t allow you to watch?  Seriously, I want you to reflect for a minute on some of your favourite childhood memories, your experiences and all that you did over the 9 years you chose.  A person can sure do a lot in 9 years can’t they?
Now, I want to give you something to think about.  Can you imagine spending 9 years living in a cave, while bombs are being dropped outside- all day- everyday?!  Maybe you were lucky enough to have the bittersweet experience of leaving your entire family to go get an education in a neighbouring country because it was no longer safe to go to school in your own.  These are some of the thoughts that run through my head as I spend time in Laos, learning about the CIA's 'Secret War' that raged for 9 years.  Because of Laos' geographical location, their internal political instability and that they got sucked in by proxy into it’s neighbouring country- Vietnam's war, it was secretly the target of an indiscriminate bombing campaign by the USA, making it the most heavily bombed country per capita in history! The US used a wide variety of bombs to terrorize Laos, many of those being cluster bombs.  Unfortunately, when a cluster bomb is dropped, approximately 30% of the munitions, or 'bombies' inside do not detonate, resulting in the devastating aftermath that still affects the Laos people to this day.  Hundreds of people, most of them children, are killed every year when they are unfortunate enough to plough over a cluster bomb while farming, pick it up because it looks like a ball, or attempt to salvage it for scrap metal- a lucrative trade for one of the poorest countries in the world.  Often the temptation for money outweighs the risk of death when talking about feeding your family.  I could go on forever about the horrors of a “war” that consumed and confused the Laos people for 9 years, but it just makes me too angry.  I have attached some reading materials if you are interested in learning for yourself about the secret war in Laos. Knowledge is power, so feel free to google for more info.

A brief article explaining the 'secret war'.

Mines Advisory Group - An international group that clears unexploded bombs from war zones.

COPE - Cooperative Orthotic and Prosthetic Enterprise. COPE and the NRC (National Rehabilitation Centre) together are the only provider of prosthetic, orthotic and rehabilitation services in Laos PDR.

Below are some photos of a few attractions and centres we have visited in an effort to better understand and support the Laos peoples unwavering spirit and to learn about the many organizations set up to help heal their country.

This picture was taken at the COPE (Cooperative Orthotic and Prosthetic Enterprise) centre in Vientiane, the capital city of Laos.  The centre provides limbs, wheelchairs and rehabilitation for the victims of UXO (Unexploded Ordinance) or people that have congenital deformities such as club foot. 

The permanent exhibit at the COPE centre was a fantastic blend of artwork, literature, videos and interactive displays that outlined and explained the huge demand for prothetics in Laos.

This was a specially designed mirror box that helped with the 'phantom pain' from a lost limb.

Dan, standing next to some bombs outside a restaurant called Craters in the town of Phonsavan.

This town in particular had loads of bombs on display since it was the sight of one of the heaviest bombed areas in all of Laos.

Dan and I were lucky enough to take a tour of a Hmong villiage outside of Phonsavan.  Our driver was born and raised there before he went to the city to find work.  People use cluster bomb casings for many things such as troughs for their animals, fences (as pictured below), fire pits or as stilts for their houses.  The picture above is actually a pigeon house.

This is a photo of one of the numerous bomb craters that scar the northern provinces of Laos.  We are here in the rainy season so it is full of water.  There are so many of them that villagers use them as pools for fish or water fowl.

A monument remembering the numerous villagers that died when a missile was shot into a large cave that had become their home for many years.  Over 350 bodies were uncovered and buried in mass graves surrounding the sight, though it is thought that many more could rest indiscovered, buried under the rubble after the blast.

A couple shots of the cave from the inside.  This sight in peticular was really sad and eerie to visit.

I refrained from taking too many shots as it is likely the graves of many peasants that were never recovered.

One thing that helped cheer me up after visiting the sight was a legend that our tour guide shared with us.  Apparenty, the Hmong people believe that dragons roam the earth to this day, because they are magical creatures they are able to change form.  It is believed that many of the natural caves that dot the moutains in the north of Laos are in fact dragon dens.  Cool!  This cave had to be a dragon den as it was massive and would make a perfect home for a dragon ;)

This is a shot of one of the many mass graves that are in the area outside the opening of the cave.



This was a marker set up by MAG or the Munitions Advisory Group, a organization specializing in the removal of UXO or Unexploded Ordinance.  Since Laos is slowly becoming a more popular tourist sight they are doing their best to clean up various sites to make them safer for tourists and locals alike.  The marker above is white, letting us know that both above and below the surface has been cleared of UXO.

There were also red markers indicating that only surface UXO has been cleared, making it unsafe to trample.  Freaky!!  It kinda makes peeing on the side of the road a little more risky.